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Scientific Method - A totally opinionated review by Angel
We see B'Elanna crawling through a Jeffries tube. She finds Seven of Nine there, who is rerouting power to supply her astrometrics lab. B'Elanna gives her a little speech about protocol and Starfleet rules when she remembers Janeway gave her that exact same speech when she was first on Voyager. "If I could adjust to Starfleet life, so can you," she tells Seven. We move to Sickbay where Tom Paris is making up some lame excuse to get out. He does an illegal site to site transport (too lazy to walk?) and re-materializes in front of B'Elanna with some flowers. They kiss and then B'Elanna gets a feeling she's being watched. Which she is, we see a x-ray with some alien markings on it. (opening credits) Okay, now get ready for the really good stuff. "Your trapezium is hard as a rock," the Doctor growles, rubbing Janeway's back "you haven't been following the relaxation regiment I've prescribed for you." "I've been too busy," Janeway sighs. She is clearly not enjoying herself. "The usual story," the Doctor grumbles. Have you been getting enough sleep?" "More or less, mostly less," Janeway says. "Hm, hm. And have your headaches been getting any worse?" "No. But they're not getting any better either. They are like hot needles driving into my skull." "These symptoms are hardly surprising, Captain. (Janeway rolls her eyes) You work absurdly long hours, under constant stress, eating on the run without sufficient exercise or rest. Your body is crying out for mercy." "It certainly is right now!" Janeway gasps as the Doctor cracks some of her back bones with his elbow. "There must be some easier way to do this, a hypospray maybe?" "Always looking for the simple fix. Sometimes there is no substitute for intensive osteopathic pressure therapy. You're fortunate to have a masseur who can work all day without getting tired. "Bridge to the Captain." The relief for this interruption is visible on the Captain's face. But the Doctor responds. "Unless this is an emergency, my patient is unavailable." As if. "I'm here Chakotay! What is it?" "We have reached the source of those energy readings and I thought you'd like to see what we found." Would she ever, she almost breaks out in tears, she's so happy. "On my way." She gets off the table, with nothing but a sheet wrapped around her body (gasp). "Captain!" the Doctor cries. "I know what you're going to say," Janeway says, "but I can't neglect my responsibilities." She heads out her quarters. "Actually, I was going to suggest a change of outfit." The Doctor notes sarcastically. Damn, it would have been so much funnier if Janeway had entered the bridge in that sheet. And even better if she would forget to hold on to it. Change to bridge. Janeway is dressed now, but she doesn't look very good. Two white dots on the view screen. "Binary pulsars," Chakotay explains. The gravitational forces between them are so intense that everything within 50 million kilometers is getting pulled in." "Don't worry, we're well out of range," Tom Paris notes at the helm. Duh. "Gamma radiation levels are high, but as long as we're careful, I think we can collect some invaluable data." Chakotay continues. Janeway rubs her forehead. Did I point out how terrible she looks? Her hair is all tousled and her face is wrinkled in pain. She is absolutely yummy looking when she's like this. But I digress. "Captain, am I boring you,?" Chakotay informs. Of course, but that is beside the point. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm a little too tired to concentrate on stellar phenomena right now. I'll leave this project in your capable hands." You would think Chakotay would be worried about Janeway at this point. I know I am. But not him. He's just looking all smug about getting this assignment. Change to engineering. Annoying scene with Tom and B'Elanna making out. They get caught by Tuvok. Tom Paris convinces him not to report the little incident. Tom and B'Elanna are in the turbo lift on their way to the briefing. They decide they want to keep their relationship to themselves and go to the briefing separately. Briefing room. Janeway is sitting in the back, looking terrible. Chakotay yaps on about those pulsars and Tom and B'Elanna are glancing at each other across the table. Janeway dismisses everyone except Tom and B'Elanna. Tom thanks Tuvok sarcastically on his way out. "I don't usually pry into the personal lives of my crew (she doesn't? Since when?), but in this case I have to question your recent conduct." "I guess Tuvok," Tom interrupts. "Tuvok? I haven't heard a word from Tuvok," Janeway continues. "But you two have been making enough of a public display that half the ship is gossiping about it." "Believe me, that was never our intention," B'Elanna squeaks. "You are senior officers!" Janeway barks "and I expect you to maintain a standard for the rest of the crew. But this adolescent behaviour makes me question my faith in you, both. If you choose to pursue a relationship, that's your business. But you consider yourselves under orders to use better judgement about it, is that understood?" "Yes ma'am" "Aye, Captain." She stares at her nails, rubs her head some more. Man, something is really terribly wrong with this woman. "Dismissed" she says quietly. Change to Chakotay's quarters. He orders some coffee and while he's drinking it we see the x-ray cam with the alien markings again. Chakotay cries out and drops his coffee on the floor. Then he washes his face and notices he's loosing his hair. Then we see him in Sickbay, and he's like a hundred years old. The Doctor says he's aging like a maniac, but he doesn't understand why. Janeway is looking a tad bit better, that is to say, her hair is little less tousled. She thinks it may have something to do with the pulsars and she wants to re-examine their data. Chakotay wants to help, but the Doctor is not prepared to let him go. Janeway agrees with him for a change. "He's right, Chakotay. I'll keep you informed." The Doctor wants to set up a resonance scanner in the science lab. "Get B'Elanna to help you," Janeway says. She heads out the door, rubbing her head some more. "Still having headaches, Captain?" "I don't need any more lectures about working too hard!" Janeway snaps. "Chakotay is the one that needs your attention right now." "I'll get to work on the scanner right away." We see Tom and Harry in the mess hall, but as they are
ordering food, Neelix collapses in the kitchen. By the time he's in sickbay, he
has brown spots all over his face. No, I mean even more than usual. The Doctor and B'Elanna are working in the science lab and discover a bar code on Chakotay and Neelix's DNA strands. As B'Elanna tries to run a compositional analysis, she discovers a .15 phase variance. She finds out the bar code is transmitting a signal. Doc wants to adjust internal sensor, but his program goes offline. B'Elanna collapses on the floor. Sickbay again. Tom is working overtime. Seven and Janeway are there as well. Kim informs them they can't find the Doctor anywhere. But then we hear Doc trying to communicate with Seven. He tells her to meet them in holodeck 2, where he's hiding in the Da Vinci program. She makes up an excuse and goes to the holodeck. Doc tells her what's going on and he wants to adjust her Borg sensory node to the .15 phase variance. Seven agrees. She walks out and back in the hallway she sees an ensign expendable with some kind of super brace thing around his head. Then she notices an alien with elf-ears scanning him. She follows the alien and gets in the turbo lift. Elf-ears goes in as well and sticks a probe of some kind in Seven's chest. She pretends not to notice. Then she enters the mess hall and we se a look of horror creep over her face. All the people in the mess have devices and probes and needles sticking out of them and aliens are everywhere scanning them. Seven informs the Doctor that the situation is worse than they thought. Doc tells her to inform the Captain. Who's in her ready room smacking her computer console in frustration. She gets up and walks to the window. Her door chimes. "Yes," she says. "YES!" she screams one nano second later. Tuvok enters. "Good morning, Captain." "That's a matter of opinion. What is it?" "The scans haven't revealed anything about the genetic mutations." "The Doctor?" "Still off line. We are investigating the possibility..." "Inform me of any progress." Janeway rubs her nose, clearly in pain. "Understood." "There's one more thing. The incident with Tom and B'Elanna started me thinking about ship's protocol. Or lack thereof." This seems hardly relevant at this point, but the Captain is in agony so we'll forgive her crazed behaviour. "Captain?" "It seems to me that people have been getting a little too comfortable here lately. They're late for their duty shifts, taking mess hall privileges at non designated hours and a lot of people spend more time in the holodeck than they do at their posts! You are security chief, don't thirteen department heads report to you every day?" "Yes." "Well, straighten them out." "Shall I flog them, as well?" Says the Vulcan, without any form of sarcasm colouring his tone (ahem). This hits Janeway in the right spot. She sighs and walks toward Tuvok. "Maybe the Doctor was right. I think I do need a vacation." "You do seem unsettled," Tuvok admits. "Crazed is more like it. I haven't felt his anxious since my first day of command." The door chimes. "Remind me to lower the volume on that door. Come in!" Janeway walks back to her couch. Seven enters. "Captain, I need to speak with you..." she doesn't finish her sentence. She looks horrified. Through her Borg eyes, we see Janeway, needles sticking out of her forehead, a bunch of elf-ears around her scanning her left and right. "What's wrong?" Janeway asks Seven, who is still aghast. "My attempts to repair the resonance scanner have failed, I require assistance," she manages. "Ask ensign Kim to lend you a hand," says needle head Janeway. Seven nods slowly "Yes, Captain." "Is that all?" Janeway asks. Seven nods, swallows, leaves the room. We see Janeway back to normal. Without the needles that is. "When this mutation crisis is over, I think I'll spend a few days in Renaissance Tuscany. There a little inn outside Sienna I've been wanting to try. That Janeway, always confident the crisis will pass and they will be merrily on their way. Has she been reading the scripts? Tuvok sits down next to her on the couch. "I will join you for a glass of wine." Janeway attempts a smile, puts her hand over his. But then she grabs her head in agony as another wave of pain hits her. Seven is reporting to the Doctor. They come up with a plan to save the crew. Seven has to reconfigure the power relays to administer a neuroleptic shock. This will knock out the aliens, but the crew will be okay. Seven starts to work, but she is interrupted by Tuvok who doesn't trust what she's doing. She tries to convince him she's just doing routine maintenance, but he senses she is lying to him. Seven has had enough. She walks over to one of the aliens watching them and hits it with a phaser beam, so Tuvok and the other in engineering can see it as well. "If your people attempt to incapacitate me, I will kill you," she tells elf-ears. "I believe you. What do you intend to do now?" "You will come with me to speak to the Captain. I am certain she'll have questions for you." The Brig. Enter Seven, Tuvok and Janeway who is looking absolutely lethal. "Keep on trying to disable the tags, let me know when you're ready." she tells Seven. "Understood." "I'll attempt to modify the internal sensor to detect the aliens." Says Tuvok. "Keep me informed." Janeway gives them a 'what are you still doing here' nod and enters the brig. She is outrageously mad. I sure wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of this conversation. "Who are you and what the hell are you doing to my crew?" "My team has been observing you and conducting tests," elf-ears explains calmly. "Tests?" Janeway spits, "I'd call them mutulations!" "I can understand why you're angry. I don't like causing people to suffer, but sometimes it's a necessary part of my work." "What kind of work is that?" Janeway bites. "Medical research. We're scientists, just like you." Hardly. "From where I stand, you're a hostile invasion force. I want to know how long you've been here and exactly what you've been doing to us." "I can't answer those questions!" elf-ears almost laughs at her. "It's a breach of protocol to even be speaking to you at all!" I'm sure Janeway will care. "Oh, how convenient!" her voice is down to the stun-level. "That way you never have to face your victims." "Captain, please, you are exaggerating the situation. Our techniques are as benign as we can make them." "What I have been through in the last few days, certainly hasn't felt benign!" Janeway half-screams. "Please understand that there's a purpose to our actions." Elf-ears continues, still unaffected by the Captain's Force One thousand Death Glare. The data we gather from you may help us cure physical and psychological disorders that inflict millions. Isn't that worth some discomfort?" Doesn't she understand who's she dealing with here? These people may be technologically advanced, they sure ain't very smart. "I'm sure you'd see things differently if it were your people who were subjected to these experiments!" Janeway is getting increasingly mad. "Just as your perspective would change if your people were the ones to live longer and healthier lives as a result. Don't forget, we've been observing you, Captain. I know the most important thing to you is the welfare of your crew. You'd even kill to protect them." So they now this, yet she sits there with that smug 'I'm right' look. *Angel shakes her head in disbelief* "If necessary." "Course you would! You take care of your own, just as we do. We're really more similar than you'd care to admit." Elf-ears even steps closer to Janeway, who just screwed her death glare up a notch. "That's were you're wrong!" Janeway spits and lowers the force field. Uh oh. She steps into the cell. Uh oh. "What you're doing isn't self-defense. It's the exploitation of another species for your own benefit. My people decided a long time ago that that was unacceptable. Even in the name of scientific progress." "You are a remarkably strong willed individual." Elf-ears changes the subject. "I've been very impressed by your self control over the past couple of weeks. We've been increasing your dopamine levels, stimulating various aggressive impulses to test your behavioural restraints. There's been a great difference of opinion about how much more strain you can bare." I'm guessing this is it. Yes, this is it. "Not much!" Janeway shrieks, whilst smacking elf-ears against the wall behind her. But she restrains herself remarkably quick and let's go again. "I'd hoped you might be more cooperative once you realized the importance of our work." Elf ears says disappointedly. "Sorry, these lab rats are fighting back!" snaps Janeway. "I'm afraid that will be pointless. We are monitoring your attempts to break our control over you, you won't succeed." Man, these elf-ears are naïve. "You might find you underestimated us," Janeway hisses. I'll say. "Consider what is in the best interest of your crew. We will be continuing our research. If you make no further attempts to interfere, I assure you the fatality rate will be minimal, though there may be some deformities. And I'd be willing to share our final data with you." My, my, ain't that generous. "You can't possibly expect me to accept that," Janeway says. "If you don't, then the entire experiment and its subjects will be terminated." It's that simple, really. Elf-ears is so smugly confident. She'll be sorry when she's dead. Change to ready room. Janeway, Seven, Tuvok and the Doctor are present. "Are you telling me there is no way to disable the tags?" Janeway says. My attempts to use EPS relays to induce neuroleptic shock have failed. The aliens may be responsible." Seven reports. "I have encountered similar difficulties in my efforts to modify the internal sensors. They appear to have gained access to our key systems." Tuvok adds. "They can't be everywhere all the time!" Janeway says "we have got to find an advantage." "We'd better find one soon," the Doctor points out, "sickbay is being filled with new patients, with increasingly severe symptoms." Janeway rubs her head some more. "We have the ability to make them visible," Seven suggests. "If we could modify enough sensors, we could resist them." Tuvok disagrees. "They are still capable of manipulating our DNA. A direct conflict would be inadvisable." "Bridge to the Doctor, medical emergency." Everybody rushes to the bridge, where a cute blond crewman (played by the luckiest actress in the world) is lying on the floor with a network of ruptured veins on her face. The Doctor scans her. "She's in hypertensive shock! Twenty milligrams of lectrazine." Janeway, who apparently also has medical skills, administers the hypospray. With no effect. "Her blood pressure is 350 over 125!" the Doctor gasps. "How is that possible?" Janeway asks. "Severe adrenal stress. No effect." He adds with regards to the hypospray. "Her arterial pathways are rupturing. Cardiac arrest, we're losing her." Janeway is not so sure. She starts administering mouth to mouth (damn, why can't I be in cardiac arrest around the Captain??). The Doctor tells her there's no point, but she keeps locking lips with the cute blonde. "Brain death has occurred," the Doctor says. "I'm sorry, there is nothing more we could have done." "This ends right now!" Janeway snaps. Uh oh. "You're releaved!" she orders the ensign sitting at the helm and takes his place. "Captain, what are you doing?" Tuvok asks, worry colouring his tone, although I'm sure he'd deny that. "I'm running a little experiment of my own. Red alert!" Voyager is heading straight for the binary pulsars. You know, those things with a gravitational force stronger than Janeway's anger on a bad day. "Captain, one of the aliens has just entered the bridge," Seven informs. "Understood." "We are less than a million kilometers from the pulsars. We must change course immediately to avoid being caught in their gravity." Tuvok notes. "No, keep going." "This is a far more reckless course of action than I have come to expect from you, Captain." (hehhe, that Tuvok, he's so funny) "It certainly is," Janeway is back in control and she is loving it. "Hull stress is at 30 terradynes and rising." What the heck is a terradyne? "I'm transferring more power to the structural integrity field, but I don't know how long it can hold." Harry comments. Elf ears uncloaks herself. "What do you hope to accomplish by this?" "Flying into a binary pulsar? Seems I'm trying to crush this ship like a tin can." Janeway says. "It's more likely that you are trying to intimidate us." Right, whatever, oh Naïve People. "You're welcome to stick around and find out." Janeway responds. "Hull stress is at 45 terradyne." Tuvok reports. Elf-ears walks to the helm. "Our course is locked in. Only my authorization can release it." Janeway notes dryly. "You're not behaving very rationally." "That's what you're trying to accomplish, isn't it? Pumping up my dopamine levels to push me to the edge, keeping me awake for four days straight with the constant pain of your devices drilling into my skull, well this is the combination of your work and guess what? You're going to be right here to collect the final data." The Captain Has Spoken. Binary pulsars do now appear very closely. "Shield have failed, structural integrity down to 20 percent," Harry reports. "Enter the authorization code and change course immediately!" Elf-ears orders Janeway. "I don't think you realize that you are NOT in control here ANY more!" Janeway snaps back. "I can kill you, and your crew, in an instant." Go ahead, without us you won't be able to prevent this ship from being torn apart by the pulsars. And even with my crew working together, I'd say the odds of us getting through this, are what? One in ten?" "One in twenty, at best, Captain" Tuvok says. "I'm willing to take that chance. Are you?" Apparently not. Elf-ears disappears. "Our hull temperature has reached 9,000 degrees." Says Tuvok. "The hull is beginning to buckle," Kim adds. "Two alien vessels are attempting to disengage from Voyager," Seven reports. We see them now, one of them takes off, the other one disintegrates. "I can't break us free of the gravitational forces," Janeway says. "Then lets divert power to the shields!" Harry screams. No, if we go in, we go in full throttle. Assuming we survive, we're gonna need all the momentum we can get to reach escape velocity on the other side. Everyone, hang on!" "I hope you were exaggerating about those odds, Tuvok." She adds. "I was not." Tuvok says. Voyager turns glowing red, but of course, makes it through. "I don't believe it," Harry smiles. "We're alive!" "I never realized you thought of me as reckless, Tuvok?" Janeway notes dryly from the helm. "A poor choice of words," Tuvok admits. "It was clearly an understatement." Janeway closes her eyes. Voyager is safe once again. Everybody is back to good health and Tom and B'Elanna are back to making out. The End. |