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Janeway is Hot

By: Chuckie

comments? mlperkin@indiana.edu

Red hot, actually, like most redheads.  This one has a lot more going for her, too, like that incredible voice, and that Look - you know, the one that can cut through duranium?  The way she walks. . .sometimes like Queen Femme and others like Truck Drivin' Marge.  Those rare, blazing smiles that hint at passion.  Yeah, there's a lot to like, but then there are a lot of gorgeous women who grace our tv screens.  Why do we so enjoy reading about Kathryn Janeway's sexual exploits?  Come on. . .admit it, we like to read about Janeway having a sexual relationship.  Love is good.  Romance is great.  But what we really like to read about is Janeway having sex.  Even those of us who, like me, know in their forebrains that a good story about our favorite redhead doesn't need sex to work for us
understand that, without a sex scene, we'd be disappointed - no matter how wonderful the story is otherwise. Our lurking, slobbering, prurient hindbrain (so to speak) rules us far more harshly than our forebrain councils civility (and maturity).

Why is that, I wondered?  It can't be simply because she is, as I mentioned before, red hot.  She's got that smoky, sultry voice - the one I love to hear in my head when fanfic dialogue is done right.  Just a few "Oh god!"s and "Oh yes!"s will totally do me in.  Surely it's not just the lithe, hyper-feminine body that commands the universe with such strength. And we like smart, right?  Can it be the brilliance of the Janeway mind that shines like a beacon to our sexual cravings?  I doubt that.

Seven is sexy.  She's got curves and bright blue eyes.  She's brilliant, too, and she's got something even Janeway doesn't have:  hardware.

B'Elanna is pretty damned sexy, too. She moves like a dancer, has great lips and a mean sexual rep.  And those ridges. . .oh yeah. 

Still, don't most of us prefer the Janeway/Seven or Janeway/B'Elanna pairing to that of B'Elanna/Seven?  Sure, B/7 is okay, and can be quite fun.  But there's something important missing:  Janeway.  We've got to have Janeway having sex for the story to be completely right, and I think I know what it is about her that gets to us like no other.

There's a common theme that runs through most good Janeway stories, no matter who she's with:

HOW LONG HAS SHE GONE WITHOUT?

How long has she been alone in the Delta Quadrant?  Years, you say? Years since a hand other than her own has touched her?  Loved her? And then there's the fact she's never been with a woman before.  Double whammy there, cause we all know which gender was given the sexual edge, right ladies?  Not only do we get to experience the unleashing of this woman's long-tamed passion - an orgasmic release of years of tension.  We also get to gloat over how good it's going to be for her because she's with a woman, and you and I both know how much better at romance and love women are.  Janeway is a woman who will respond so beautifully to a romantic gift, a declaration of love or even a gentle touch.  She's been so lonely, as portrayed on the show, so strong for so long.  It makes the scene when she FINALLY gets some all that much better.

And Janeway's not the only one who has been patiently, stoically - heck - HEROICALLY waiting for romance, you know.  WE'VE been waiting, too.  But we all know, realistically, that it'll never happen on the show because they just don't know how to handle it.  Janeway's too much woman for them.

So what does that leave us?  Fan fiction!  And with fanfic we can do whatever we want with the characters, and what do we want with Janeway? Sex!  She needs it!

"Oh. . . yes!"