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Trailer Talk: Barge of the Dead

comments? mlperkin@indiana.edu

(Seven turns her head to glare at someone)

WEDNESDAY ON UPN

(hands hold a rectangle with a Klingon logo on it,
B'Elanna peers at it from up close - nice hands, Roxann!)

B'Elanna (stating the obvious):  It's Klingon.

A MYSTERIOUS RELIC

(blood wells up out of the Klingon symbol - cool!,
an MTV series of cuts:

A Klingon standing in an inferno
Different angle of the Klingon in the inferno
An ugly Klingon puss stares out of the screen
B'Elanna screaming as hands hold her face
B'Elanna sitting up and screaming)

Janeway (looking yummy):  Whatever you experienced,
it wasn't real.

B'Elanna (PKM'ing*):  It was real to me.

UNLEASHES AN ANCIENT EVIL

(negative of B'Elanna facing a Klingon turns to red-tinged
video, the Klingon swings a Bat'leth at B'Elanna, Seven and
the Doctor are bent over in pain - my guess is they're in
the mess hall after dinner, a Bat'leth uppercut ends their
suffering, Chakotay takes one in the gut, Tom is sliced
and diced)

B'Elanna:  Captain!  (Hmmm, not "Tommy!"?  Verrrry Interestink.)
(the captain takes a shiv to the back, B'Elanna stands around
waiting for the Bat'leth to fall - on her)

AN ALL NEW VOYAGER

(the Bat'leth wielder goes to negative, screen goes dark . . . 
the end)

(No! Not the end! . . . )

B'Elanna:  Why?

(a huge Klingon turns a huge wheel while B'Elanna lies nearby 
on the floor)

B'Elanna:  Where am I?

(Klingon face shrouded in darkness)

Deep-Down-Klingon-Man's-Voice-Over:  The Barge Of The Dead.

*Klingons don't have PMS . . . Pre Menstrual Syndrome . . . but 
they do have PKM . . .Pissed Klingon Mode.